Apple Cares?

I received the oddest call from my Apple representative yesterday. It began pleasantly enough with questions about my Apple computers. I started thinking, “Apple cares about me!” Then, the sales pitch began: AppleCare.

Apple: I see you have AppleCare on your laptop, so we know you are smart.

Me: Are you saying I am dumb if I don’t have it on my iMac?

We wouldn’t want you to have to lug that big heavy computer in for fixing. With AppleCare, we come right to you.

You mean this easy to move desktop that I bring into the living room nightly for movie time?

You want to think about it? Now, Kandace, I know you’re not going to put this in your calendar, now are you?

You mean this wonderfully handy calendar right in my dock – yes, yes I am.

I’m not working on commission. I just need to mark down that you said no so that you don’t call in a year when something breaks and say you were never offered AppleCare.

Come on, Apple guy. I am intelligent enough to see the benefit of purchasing superior products at higher rates. Give me a tiny bit of credit for being able to take 2 days to make a decision about spending $169. And please, don’t talk to me like I am 10.

Kandace Brigleb

Producer, co-founder of Needmore. Currently residing on the left coast.